Saturday, October 25, 2003

pissy mood

Got any happy pills?

I should be in a good mood. I'm going camping. I leave around 9:30 in the morning. I have been looking forward to this trip for ages.

And I am in a piss-poor mood tonight.

For the past few weeks, my joints, knees in particular, have been hurting. Now my left hip hurts in addition to my right. I had hoped that maybe the worst of my body ache problems were behind me since getting the inserts for my shoes. But it seems that was only a temporary solution. I am so tired of having all these little health problems. I feel like doctors think I'm a hypochondriac because I look normal. And my joint problems don't show up on x-rays. Or in blood tests. So there's no real way to treat the problems.

I try really hard to stay positive about my body-related trials, but damn, I've been fighting with this crap for half my life now. I just feel like it's hard to be upbeat when I think about the level of activity I could sustain 2 years ago, as compared with now. I wonder how it must feel to be in your 20s and not ache like a senior citizen. Probably feels pretty good, but you wouldn't know, unless you had my shit to deal with.

Okay. I will stop moping now. Hopefully getting out to the coast will cheer me up.

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