Sunday, November 02, 2003

market research: beer

Survey says: I am a lush

I'm on the phone with a guy who called me about beer. First, he had to make sure I was old enough (which I am), then he asked me how often I drink, how much money my household rakes in over the course of a year (a paltry sum, to be sure), and to list all the brands of beer I can think of.

I thought of the usual suspects, budweiser, miller, sam adams, red hook, sierra nevada, newcastle, guinness, etc. For good measure, I added Pete's Wicked Ale. My surveyor (?) acted as if he'd never heard of it, asking me to spell it and confirming twice. I had to wonder what rock he was living under.

Then I had to say whether I'd heard of each beer he listed. There were a few I'd forgotten, like Kokanee, Stella Artois, and Moosehead. I somehow forgot to mention my favorite beer, Boddingtons. I didn't even bother with my favorite beer of all time, Caffrey's, since I know it is no longer available in the US.

Next, I had to rate all the beers I admitted to knowing of. Here is where my elephantine memory got me into trouble...

Once I said I knew of nearly every beer under the sun, he forced me to rate them all: like/dislike/indifferent/never tried.

And here's where I discovered that I've been doing a LOT of drinking the past 5+ years. I'll be damned if I hadn't had 10 kegs worth of beer since I became legal. (I completely forgot to mention the beers I drank in college: Leinenkugel's , Old Style, Busch Light.) I was able to rate almost every beer I have ever heard of, with the exception of Molson Golden.

Then, to fully highlight my burgeoning alcohol problem, survey-man asked me to identify the beers I'd tasted in the last year. Quite a few... so they whittled it down to three months. Still, more than several. Finally, I had to state how many of each brand of beer I'd consumed in the last month.

Contrary to what my past drinking habits might suggest, I've had relatively few beers this month.

I want to know why I get called for the beer survey, but never a polictical survey, something my opinions matter much more about.

Hmph. All this talk of beer spurred me out into the cold for a fresh Boddington's at the Bonn Lair. Which was distressingly full of yuppies--but that's another story.

Edit: Tara sent this to me last week. It seems appropriate in this context: Drink-o-meter!

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