Monday, June 18, 2007

Guadalajara won't do

My sister's graduation wasn't so bad. However, the news that my cousin of several removes--who lives in my parents' house--was 1) dating a loser drug addict who 2) stole and pawned my Takamine Jasmine that they don't even make anymore and which was a very nice, fairly expensive steel-string acoustic for probably a whopping $75 really pissed me off. I was really looking forward to playing it again. I only left it there the last time I was there because my sister said she wanted to learn to play it. I should have opted not for graciousness (which is generally foreign to my sibling interactions) but instead been typically snotty and taken it with me just to spite her. At least it would still belong to someone who appreciates it and knows its value.

My dad says that I behaved myself well, which is fairly condescending and unfair, since he was just shy of an absentee parent most of my life (and I still don't think he understands me), and I really don't like being down there. Too many painful memories. Too much grossness and crazy. I also know that he hates when I air our dirty laundry. But anyone who knows me knows I have to talk about this stuff or pop. Sublimation is my only salve.

Of course, I could have tolerated most of the crazy if it weren't for the fact that I really wanted my guitar and my amp. My sister loaned my amp to her boyfriend without asking me first (which in light of the fact that I can't borrow her flute that she never learned how to play, is total bullshit). But the guitar thing really takes the cake. I'm that sort of boiling mad that takes a while to build but can ultimately be all-consuming. I would like to castrate the asshole who took it, but I also would like to smack my cousin for making such retarded choices in who to date and for not taking the lead and reimbursing me for it. She lives in my house rent-free and is bringing lowlifes into it, to peruse my stuff? Totally disrespectful and quite unsafe. And then my mom making excuses for her? Don't even get me started.

My dad says we don't have to claim her, but my mom is legendary for her penchant for taking in strays.

People really have no idea how hard it is for me to not be crazy. I am never going back to my hometown, except perhaps to rescue my poor cat Genevieve, who is a year older than Mitzie but looks 300.

And just for good measure, I'm going totally minimalist as a result of this. I do not want to be one of those old people that gets buried alive by all their crap.

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