I used to say that I don't keep in touch with most people I knew in high school. But with the rise of MySpace and Facebook, that's becoming less and less the case. This week, my friend Jamie, whom I've known since we were all of 11 years old, found me on myspace. We were good pals through middle school, and for a while in high school too. But then, she found boys and ended up getting pregnant when we were in 11th grade. She's a smartypants, and was therefore able to finish the last year and a half of high school in one semester. But after that, we really grew apart. I wasn't a huge fan of her boyfriend (who became her husband), nor could we really do much together once the kid(s) came along and I went to college--never to spend more than a week at my parents' house again, whereas SoCal was her choice of locale.
Jamie's not the only high school chum to find me on the social networking sites. I happened across another friend on Classmates.com who lived across the street from me and who moved when her dad divorced her stepmom and a combined large household split in two. My town was Eight is Enough writ large and with a jaundiced eye--I grew up with a lot of wayward Mormons. Another Mormon friend, really smart, valedictorian, athlete, etc who gave up Berkeley for BYU tracked me down in the last month or so. She has 3 kids. Come to think of it, all the people who've reconnected with me of late have three or more kids.
This seems nuts to me, because we are only thirty, and never in any of my life's scenarios did I imagine I'd have a passel of kids. I am barely on my way to wanting a dog. I also think I'd have a hard enough time being a mom to one kid, so three really blows my mind. Five freaks me out completely.
I can't help but think that college and culture are dividing lines in this situation. Aside from the valedictorian friend, who was always practical to a fault (except when she wasn't, like when she kool-aid-dyed her hair pink), my other pals focused on something other than college after school. And they all have so many babies.
To be fair, and honest, I can't say that I think my path is superior. I've certainly been able to prolong my narcissistic adultolescence to the point of absurdity. It's just weird because of the friends I've made since high school, only two of them have kids. And neither of them have more than two. And they are at least a few years older than me.