Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Thoughts for a Wednesday

Saint Patrick's day was technically Friday or Saturday, depending on whom you ask. Being a lapsed protestant who engages in these things purely for secular reasons, I went out with coworkers for a pint on Monday. I drank way too much, but far less than others. Nonetheless, I was wiped out last night and fell asleep at 9PM. Naturally, I then woke up at 4:30 this morning. Since I was incredibly behind on my blogreading, I've spent the last hour catching up. And now, of course, I'd like to go back to bed. Sadly, I've got to go to work. I'm beginning to despair of ever getting back onto a sleep schedule that makes sense. I also keep not eating appropriate dinners. Last night I ate 4 pork bao.

Since it's nearly officially spring, I'm working towards a plan of spring cleaning. Last year, I became so exasperated with my stuff (still having been unable to pare back from the great apartment downsize of 2006) that I considered renting a storage space. Not for indefinite and/or indeterminate storage, but as a staging and sorting area while I get things organized. My apartment will fit my stuff just fine, eventually, but I have no place to make the mess that must occur before the true organization can begin. Space being at a premium, I'm once again considering the storage option. I'll probably call the storage places nearest my apartment today and set up a weekend move-in date.

It's hard for me to plan things like this, especially in the context of our faltering economy. I'm very sensitive to bad economic data, and I tend to make really stupid decisions in the face of any financial stress (one of my personal stressors being the fact that my loan consolidation numbers are way off from what I was quoted last year when I started the process, and this hardly seems fair or on the up-and-up), so of course this weekend I bought a new jacket I can't return. It's cute though, and can be somewhat justified, so I suppose I have to live with that. I'm also constantly waiting for the bottom to drop out of my life, despite being really pleased with the new job and feeling like maybe I can excel at it. It would be so nice to find a way to direct my natural paranoia in a positive, healthy and helpful direction. The constant state of constant vigilance is so uselessly stressful.

Sigh. I am such an Enneagram Type 6. Whatever particular combination of upbringing, genetics and personal experience led to this configuration, it's disappointingly unsatisfying at times because it also contradicts a lot of the values I learned from my parents, and violates the social norms that glorify fearlessness and risk-taking.

Enneagramfree enneagram test

Enough about me, though. What's your Enneagram Type?

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