Friday, March 26, 2010

Consciousness is exhausting

I haven't been to my yoga studio for movement or meditation class in almost two weeks. And while I've been to yoga at the gym, the lack of sitting meditation practice shows. I've been crabby and overly sensitive for the past two weeks, snapping at folks when its totally unwarranted and fighting back tears at the slightest mention of an opinion that doesn't jive with my own. I'm also sleeping poorly. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the obliviously bitchy blamer I once was, ignoring the effects my cyclic and situational irritability has on others and blithely attributing my actions to others' provocations.

Alas, once you've seen the light, you have to take responsibility. I think the whirlwind of my life is starting to get to me. I might have to take a break next month. At the moment, I have no clue what that means, other than going to the gym more. All I know is, it takes more time and effort to be thoughtful and conscious than I have space for in my life at the moment.

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