I'm feeling pretty frustrated, because I feel old and stuck and like I have tremendous potential that's being wasted, and also as if I am partially responsible for a good portion of that waste, given my penchant for fun. It's annoying to realize that my life is on a 5-year loop of mastery and boredom. I was hoping I'd have figured out the secret to fulfillment by now. Truth be told, I've had glimpses of it, and it lies in shedding the nonessential, and staying centered. Neither of which I've been very committed to for the past year.
As the Chinese New Year, Year of the Snake, approaches, I feel called to try something different. I can only keep testing different approaches if I'm ever to break out of my pattern. I've never been one to believe that things happen for a reason, but I definitely do believe that the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a different result. To prevent such craziness, this year of the snake (which is my Chinese zodiac sign) I will:
- focus on growth, rather than security
- narrow, rather than broaden, my activities
- hone my strengths rather than try to atone for my weaknesses
- hope, instead of worry
- reframe when I usually complain
I see that I should have been more careful with my career. Instead of lament, I'll be grateful I've realized it now, when there's still time to do something about it.